I think He’d rather we be rambunctiously curious in our pursuit of worship, like children, than to sit stoically, pretending to be focused while the Mario theme song bounces from one brain cell to another. I spent many years condemning myself for my quirkiness, my lack of ability in certain areas and my disdain for the ordinary. But I’d like to think that through this journey of discovery that the Lord has delighted not in my ability but in my desire to know Him,

For the Lord God helps me, Therefore, I have not been ashamed or humiliated. Therefore, I have made my face like flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame. Isaiah 50:7

And the rain fell, and the floods and torrents came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. Matthew 7:25

Often in life we will think back on places, times and memories that feel cheated, robbed, misunderstood, and wasted. We can so easily fall into a place of regret, rejection, disappointment, and sorrow, blaming ourselves and others for “the way things should have been”. As a mother, I’ve felt that so deeply at times, wishing I could have been there to protect, change, fix, refresh, relieve, heal, and carry the burdens of brokenness in this world that have fallen upon my children. Sometimes I think we can forget that God Himself understands those moments where we feel that we must simply “let go”. However grandiose the betrayal in the Garden had been, we see throughout scripture that He never let go of them, carrying His faithfulness down through the generations to us, constantly warring, contending, calling, and drawing us back.

Do we have the boldness to speak to the piling demands, expectations from others and pressures of the life and say “you will have to wait”? Can we be trusted by God to lay aside our fears and unbelief to steward the deepest revelations of His heart? Are we willing to step outside of ourselves and embrace the unknown, believing that if He called us, that means He will provide and protect us no matter what comes? Can we be assured that the pleasures and pressures of this life truly pale in comparison to the coming glory that will be revealed in us as we allow His presence to come and purge every false idol, doubt, fear, and passion that stems from a heart of impurity and rebellion to the King of Kings?